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Yule Boasting
Yule boasting, popularized online as an old Norse tradition, involves making exaggerated, fun promises for the new year during winter solstice feasts, akin to hyperbolic New Year's resolutions but in a Viking style. Historically, Norse traditions included "Yule Oaths" (heitstrengingar), which were solemn, binding vows made at feasts, often involving drinking and future promises, sometimes to great feats or royal duties, but these were serious, not just boasts. These modern bo

Pat Pending
4 days ago2 min read


Create an Evil Elevator Speech
I do not believe in "selling yourself." Selling implies negotiation. Instead, I believe in forcing clarity. An elevator speech is not a sales pitch, it is designed to position your power in under 30 seconds. Here's how you create your evil elevator speech. Create your own, and insert it in comments. Start With the Problems You Resolve Do not start with your name or your title. Titles are decorations, and soon they will know your name. Your opening line should identify pain so

Pat Pending
Jan 12 min read


The Appeal of Evil Affirmations: Exploring Affirmation Styles
Why Evil Affirmations? If you're looking to dominate your life, this is where you start!

Pat Pending
Dec 31, 20254 min read


2026 New Year's Resolutions
It is that time of year where you let go of old things, and create new mantras to chant over the next revolution of this planet around it's sun. Here are five to consider for 2026. Pick one or two, and make them last longer than your middle school crush. 1. I Will Influence Outcomes, Not Opinions This year, I abandon convincing people I am right.I will instead shape the environment so my correctness becomes inevitable.Consensus is for committees. I deal in results. 2. I Will

Pat Pending
Dec 30, 20252 min read


Manage Your Business
You don’t need a total reinvention. You need practical, deliberate actions that reduce risk and increase leverage. Here are five steps that can put you on a path to fiscal freedom.

Clark Bartron
Dec 29, 20252 min read


Embrace the Chaos: Your Ultimate Job Search Strategy
If you're looking for work, you know the amount of self-inflicted pressure it creates. This post will give you a consistent path to finding a new job and alleviate stress.

Clark Bartron
Dec 25, 20254 min read


Top Community Participation Techniques for Success
If you want to actually connect with your tribe, not just shout into the void, you need to master the art of community participation techniques. This isn’t your grandma’s knitting circle even though that could be a community, we’re talking about real engagement that sparks conversations, builds loyalty, and maybe even gets people to actually show up for your stuff. Let’s dive into the wild world of community engagement and how you can turn your crowd from passive lurkers

Pat Pending
Dec 24, 20254 min read


Dante on Christmas
Since Dante is pretty much banned from most social media platforms, I did ask him for his thoughts on the holidays, and he provided me this "brief holiday transmission." His words, not mine: Ah, Christmas. That magical time of year when inboxes go quiet, calendars suddenly develop opinions, and everyone pretends they’re “logging off” while secretly refreshing Slack from the couch. I like Christmas. Not for the tinsel or the sweaters or the aggressive peppermint economy, but f

Clark Bartron
Dec 22, 20251 min read


Survive the Holidays
By Clark Bartron...with minor input from Pat Pending. The holidays are marketed as a season of joy, connection, and carefully curated cheer. In reality, for many professionals, they arrive with a familiar mix of exhaustion, forced social obligations, and a calendar suddenly filled with events no one remembers agreeing to. Survival, not perfection, is the real goal. Here’s how to get through the season intact, rested, and maybe even refreshed, even when Pat Pending is involved

Clark Bartron
Dec 18, 20252 min read


Have a Holiday with Pat Pending
...and Clark Bartron and Dante, likely The holiday season is rife with traditions, some religious, others...not so much. Here are mine. None are optional. All are symbolic. Some may involve paperwork. The Feast of Strategic Leftovers Celebrate December 26 with this long honored post-siege tradition. No new food is prepared. All leftovers must be consumed, reassembled, or rebranded. Abundance is temporary, but cold turkey is eternal. The Candle of Deferred Decisions One candle

Pat Pending
Dec 17, 20251 min read


Understanding the Psychology of Humor Effects: The Dark Side of Laughter
Dark humor isn’t just about making jokes that make you squirm. It’s a wild, twisted dance between your brain’s deepest fears and its sharpest wit. If you’ve ever chuckled nervously at a joke about something taboo or grim, you’re not alone. That uneasy laugh? It’s your mind doing some serious heavy lifting. Today, I’m pulling back the curtain on the psychology of humor effects ; specifically the shadowy realm of dark humor. Why Does Dark Humor Make Us Laugh? The Psychology of

Pat Pending
Dec 16, 20254 min read


Upskilling in a Rapidly Evolving Workplace
by Clark Bartron If you're not upskilling and pushing the boundaries of what you know, you're at risk of falling behind in a rapidly evolving workforce. Most skills can generally be categorized by their durability: Perishable Skills: These are typically technical or technology-specific skills (e.g., proficiency in a specific software version, programming language, or organization-specific processes) with a half-life of less than 2.5 years. These require continuous, short-term

Clark Bartron
Dec 15, 20251 min read


Exploring the Dark Humor Gift Trends: Why We Love Laughing at the Taboo
Let’s face it. Life is messy, complicated, and sometimes downright cruel. But guess what? That’s exactly why we crave a little dark humor. It’s the cheeky wink in the face of chaos, the rebellious laugh when things get too serious. And nowhere is this more obvious than in the booming world of dark humor gifts. These aren’t your grandma’s knitting kits or boring old coffee mugs. Nope. These gifts are bold, brash, and unapologetically twisted. Ready to dive into why these gifts

Pat Pending
Dec 9, 20254 min read


Pat and Clark's Thanksgiving Battle Manual: Hosting & Cooking Edition
Here is Pat Pending, Warlord of Influence and Clark Bartron, Director of Engagement , offering our top ten list of Thanksgiving guidance, as only an ageless conqueror of empires and conquerer of corporate potlucks could. Prepare your Battlefield Pat: No general marches into war with a cluttered command tent. Clear your counters. Purge the expired condiments. If you haven’t used that spice since the Bronze Age, throw it out. Clark: Prep the space first. Wipe everything down,

Pat Pending
Nov 26, 20253 min read


Boosting Community Engagement Effectively
Alright, buckle up! You want to crank your community engagement from "meh" to "heck yeah!"? You’re in the right place. I’m about to drop some serious knowledge bombs on how to get people not just to show up, but to actually care. No more crickets, no more tumbleweeds rolling through your digital town square. This is your engagement strategies guide to turning your community into a buzzing hive of activity. Why You Need an Engagement Strategies Guide (Hint: It’s Not Just for

Clark Bartron
Nov 24, 20254 min read


Eight Habits of Highly Effective Warlords
The Eight Habits of Highly Effective Warlords is a distillation of my empires, your corporate bestsellers, and a few incidents involving haunted laptops and global engagement metrics that legal will not let me describe in detail. Download it for free here , and use this post to tell us your success, your trials, and how you've leveraged the eight habits to build your empire.

Pat Pending
Nov 22, 20251 min read


How Dark Humor Influences Our Minds
Let’s get real. Dark humor isn’t just about cracking jokes that make you squirm or gasp. It’s a wild ride through the twisted corridors of your brain. You might think it’s just edgy fun, but it’s way more than that. Dark humor psychology digs deep into how these taboo jokes shape your thoughts, emotions, and even your resilience. Ready to dive in? Buckle up. Why Dark Humor Psychology Matters Dark humor is like that secret handshake in the world of comedy. It’s not for everyon

Pat Pending
Nov 22, 20254 min read


Embrace the Now: The Power of Immediate Action
The Illusion of “Later” Mortals often cling to the illusion of “later.” Later, they say, I’ll follow up. Later, I’ll thank that ally. Later, I’ll repair what pride has fractured. But later is the lie that kills empires. In my domain, tomorrow is a battlefield we may never reach. Armies of opportunity perish not by defeat, but by delay. Every unreturned message, every ignored connection, every unspoken acknowledgment; each one is a blade left to rust instead of striking true.

Pat Pending
Nov 11, 20252 min read


The War for Attention: Strategies for the Digital Age
Set Your Fortifications A warlord without walls is a wanderer. If your mind is the fortress, your phone is the battering ram. Build your boundaries: silence the endless horns of notifications, and schedule hours when no one may breach your gates. Your peace is a province. Guard it fiercely. Curate the Counsel You Keep I once dismissed half my council for treasonous whispering. Today, I simply mute them. Not every voice deserves a seat at your round table. Surround yourself wi

Pat Pending
Nov 9, 20252 min read


Forging Light in the Algorithmic Abyss
A dispatch from Pat Pending, Warlord and Author of Evil Affirmations The world will tell you, over and over, that outrage is engagement. That the best way to capture attention is to make people afraid, divided, or endlessly scrolling through conflict. It’s an effective spell — but a corrosive one. And yet, even in a media landscape optimized for anxiety, there are sparks worth protecting. I’ve seen them in creators who dare to post something hopeful, in leaders who share re

Pat Pending
Nov 7, 20252 min read
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